By now you might have figured out that I’m not good at keeping my word. How many times have I made a comeback after a hiatus, and apologized for it? I can’t even count anymore, and I won’t be surprised that you have lost interest as well. Believe me when I say, though, that all these are unintentional. I’m not depressed nor have I lost interest in blogging, but I’ve reached a point where I began to question my purpose as a human being. I mean LIFE is doing pretty well. I’ve got a nice job where my skills are rewarded; I get to spend more time with my family now; and I’m getting married to the love of my life soon.
In the past, when friends would tell me they’re not sure where they’re life is going, I would often say to them: “Everyone’s lost at 25.” And now, I can’t believe I’m telling myself this at 26. I thought I had it all figured out when I was 21, but I was terribly mistaken apparently. Some days I would catch myself reading articles about twenty-somethings on Thought Catalog and Elite Daily–something I swore off doing since they started publishing misogynistic, nonsensical articles written by self-entitled millennials. Other days I would just stay at home and reflect, which would often lead to more questions. Every week, my friends and fiance would ask me when I’m going to write again, to which I always answer with a shrug.
I’ve had similar episodes in the past, but not as long and serious as this one. Have you ever felt envious of people who knew exactly what they wanted to be? I have. When my boss asked me a few months ago what my passion is, I couldn’t give an answer. All I was able to say is: “I’m still figuring it out.” At 26, I’m supposed to know already, at least according to society. Chad, my ever-supportive fiance, would often console me by telling that I’m not like most people. That maybe I’m not meant to have a single purpose, maybe I’m meant to do a lot of things.
He could be right. I’m trying to embrace this idea; there are occasional self-doubts, of course, but they’re now much easier to overcome–thanks to friends and loved ones who have been with me throughout my (ongoing) existential crisis. They never asked, and I never said anything but they were there for me.
Despite my intermittent absence, I still feel quite fortunate that brands like WALKTRENDY still trust me and my blog. WalkTrendy is an online street-style fashion retailer based in Hong Kong
It’s already June but the heat has not subsided yet so I decided to wear this printed dress from WalkTrendy. It’s made of light, semi-cotton material so it’s perfect for the sunny weather. What I honestly love about this dress is the print itself. It reminded me of me a few years ago, when I was so in love with blogging and fashion. I used to go out with my hair in curls topped with a DIY floral crown or hat. That was also when my then-boyfriend-now-fiance was teaching me how to use a film camera. Good times, good times. 🙂
I know I promised you several times that I’ll be posting regularly again, but I won’t do that this time. I want every post to be genuine, with more content, and I can’t do that when I’m not in the mood. Hopefully I can do it this time. Be back soon! xx crossed fingers xx
PS. To those who kept on visiting this blog despite the lack of updates (yes, I can see you), thank you for sticking with me. :*