As the year draws to a close, I cannot help but feel a mixture of regret and sadness sometimes. I don’t feel I made good use of my time. I know that may be an exaggeration–pretty sure I’ve had achievements in the past months, but I can’t identify one that I can consider as the highlight of my year. I can’t remember an event that I can truly be proud of and say, “Hey, I did this!” or “I’ve overcome this.” All the issues that I’d been struggling with earlier this year are still here, which is odd since I’ve always had crisis periods but they would go away after a few weeks or months. Is it because I’m getting old?
I don’t think so. I don’t mind getting old at all. I honestly can’t wait to be married to Chad, my fiance, and make memories with him. What I don’t like is wasting time, and I admit that I’m very guilty of this. I question myself too much, which causes me to doubt my capabilities. What annoys me more is that I’m aware I’m doing this to myself but I’m not doing anything to reverse the situation. I used to be a very driven young lady; I knew what I wanted and did everything to get it. But 2015 came and BAM! I became a completely different person.